It is where you are at the time!

I have started this particular post at least three times and through one error or another I have not finished. This time I will. Just recently I was reminded of how we interpret things in our life by where we are emotionally at the time they happen. Something as simple as a comment from someone, a look from someone or a letter or card from someone can affect me in varied ways depending on where I am emotionally at the time I receive them.
For example, I could receive a card or letter from someone and at the time I receive it I am in a good place and it brings a response of gratitude and appreciation. If by chance I have kept it and bring it out at a time when, lets say I am in an emotional low spot, like maybe a garbage dump life situation, and I read it and it gives me such comfort, brings a smile to my face and my heart and a laugh to my soul it is not to diminish the importance of the letter. It is more a reaction to the sender not the letter itself.
The written word is very powerful but more powerful than the word itself is the person who writes them. I feel they are extensions of the author just as the spoken word is. There is something a little freeing in the written word that allows me to say things in print I can not bring myself to say Face to Face. Maybe there is comfort in not having to look upon another person and witness their reaction especially if it may not be what I would expect. The possibility of rejection and ridicule are present but I do not have to see it with my own eyes.
I think the written word is a very wonderful and priceless form of communication and I plan on doing more of it in addition to the electronic version of the written word. Who knows, maybe next time I get in the trunk I will bring a box of stationary and a roll of stamps with me.
em

Another post from the trunk

I wrote a post a couple of days ago when this was fresh in my heart but the website was under renovation so it did not post.(I forgot to save the draft) Anyway I will attempt to do it again. Wednesday evening my grown daughter returned to the United States from a trip to London. It was a combination of vacation and school. She returned on Wednesday evening - flying out of Heathrow - London into Ronald Reagan - Washington D.C. Thursday morning a purported terrorist plot was foiled - using the same airports. Time for rejoicing and Thanking God for His provision.
What makes this such a heart song is that in the process of experiencing life in another country my daughter met and was swept off of her feet by a young gentleman in London. Her heart was so happy, she was sharing London with someone that was treating her like a queen. I wanted to be happy for her. I wanted this to finally be the one that was going to bring into her like what she was looking for. But I was full of cautious skepticism and downright fear. This did not go over to well when I expressed them to her - it may have been in my delivery but I was filled with a sense of urgency.
Do not get me wrong - I was not saying STOP just GO SLOW. You see this gentleman lives in London and practices a faith that is in direct opposition to what she as a catholic believes in. It discounts the basis of what her faith is. That in itself was cause for concern but more importantly is the fact that the culture he was raised in does not believe in the equality of the genders. To try and mesh religious and cultural differences into a harmonious life is extremely difficult if not downright impossible.
This was a time when I HAD to get in the trunk and pray like I have never prayed before. I KNOW this daughter of mine and there was nothing I could say that would penetrate that exterior wall of hers to let her know that I was not trying to tell her what to do I was only being a mother that was worried about her.
The fairy tale aspects of the whole thing was at times wonderful - and at times a screaming warning - THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE BECAUSE IT IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. Every thing he said and did was just too perfect and that is what has me cautious. I just have to stay in the trunk on this one and believe with every fiber of my being that as much as I love her God loves her more and HE will protect her. If this is His will for her He will bless it and if it is not I pray she heed the checks in her spirit.
I guess one of these days I will be able to spend a whole day on the outside of the trunk but PRAISE God I know where the trunk is and how to get there.
em

Trunkdweller?

This is my second post and already I am changing the course of my BOLG. This is not just a blog about my living throught the addiction of a child. There is so much more to write about. This is my life living with children, husband, friends, family.
It seems that no matter how old you children are they are always to some extent little children to a mom. Some times we want to throw them out of the nest and at other times we want to make the nest so comfortable that they come back. (Those are just passing moments once they get older)My oldest son has a family of his own and is in another state. He was blessed to marry a wonderful woman and they have two wonderful daughters. Each girl is so different yet so similar. The older of the two is a clone of her aunt she is three years old. The younger girl is still in the process of becoming her own person and what a trip it is to watch.As much as we love them and wish they were closer I know they are where they need to be. Not too close and not too far away - a 5 hour drive.

As a parent to be able to watch your children become parents themselves is truly awesome. It is very difficult at times because there are so many things we want to tell them, that we did and did not do, mistakes that we made and we do not want them to make. When I get to that point I tell myself to "get in the trunk. The trunk is the only really safe place for me to get when I want to drive other peoples lives. The passenger seat and the back seat still gives me access to the steering wheel so I just picture myself climbing in the trunk and closing the lid. Most of the times I close the lid myself but some times one of my children or my husband will help me in and close it for me - I remember once someone even slammed it once. A lot of times I much prefer the view from the trunk.
There are so many times that I should have been in the trunk but I did not know about it - where it was, how to get there, how long to stay. Boy but once you find it it is wonderful.
This is not a place for the faint hearted. This is a place where you can go and let God do what He is going to do anyway. It takes a lot of strength to stay in the trunk when you see things going on in the lives of the ones you love and not do something about it. Some people see it as an escape, or a cop out but when you realize that there comes a point when you are no longer in control, or have enfluence or are responsible for the actions of another person and everything is not about you it truly is the best place for you to go - for you and most especially for your loved one.
Hey maybe I will call this blog - Diary of a Trunkdweller!
So all of you moms out there in blogworld (dads too if there are any) - as I begin again this journey into the world of BLOGS I hope in the process of becoming a better person, thereby a better mother and grandmother, some aspects of my journeys may help someone else.
We can all help eachother in this thing called LIFE.
em