Christmas 2006

Christmas 2006 - At times that seems so Science Fiction. Remember when 2001 Space Odyssey was so far in the future. Well we have surpassed that and are on our way to 2007. I just want to say that 2006 has been a year marked by tremendous growth for me. Growth in the love I have for my family, my love of my co-workers, my love of my friends old ones and some very new and dear ones. God has truly blessed me during this past year. I do not even look at the turmoil - just the joy and the blessings. Most of all there has been a huge growth spurt in my love and the desire to know all I can about God.
I was reading this morning and God really spoke to me. The question was posed "Have I allowed my personal life to become a Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus Christ?" At first my response was "Sure". Then I looked a little deeper. Does my personal life just allow Him to enter the city or do I provide Him a place to be born in the heart of things? Does my life keep Him in the stable or does it let Him in the main house? I think for myself I have kept Him in the stable. I allowed Jesus to enter my life but it is in the stable of my life - the outskirts not the very essence, not the center of my life. He is in the stable where I know that He is there and I can go to Him when I need to.
Do I really want to clean out the main house and let Him have His choice of rooms, or the whole house if He wants? What a question to be answered honestly.
What would I have to remove, what rooms would need to be vacated and by what and whom? Am I ready to evict guests and habits and desires that were welcomed at one time in my life but are no longer contributing to my personal growth? Am I ready to bring Him in from the stable to take up residence in the center of my life? Do I want to continue to provide a stable to house Him, to provide a place for me to keep Him until I need Him or do I want Him with me all the time?
I know that this past year I have spent many an hour is the stable, (when I was not in the trunk)and I am tired and empty from the walk from the main house to the stable. I know it is time for the stable to come inside the main house. I am very excited to see what He has planned for my life and those I love.
I send heartfelt wishes and prayers to all of those I hold dear - family, friends, fellow trunkdwellers - all the people God has put into my life. May God bless you in 2007 and may He draw you into the place on His lap that is for you alone. May this be the year of no more stables - just Main Houses.
God Bless you all more and more,
em

The Funeral

Beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own Independence.

I read these words a couple of days ago in my Oswald Chambers devotional. At first they seemed a little strange but they stuck with me. “The funeral of my own Independence” catchy little phrase. Wonder who this is supposed to be for. Show me who needs to get this message. Then the same night I went to service and the pastor talked about not getting what you want. How sometimes you ask God for something and you get something else and you think – Wait a minute – this is not what I asked for.
That is when Holy Spirit light bulbs started going off like crazy. I had asked God for so long to use me. To put me where He wanted and needed me to be. I wanted to be a part of what was going on; I want to make a difference for Him. He did just that but it was not what I wanted and certainly not WHERE I wanted it to be. I did not want to be in the geographical location I was in. I did not want to be doing the bookkeeping any more because I did not understand what I was doing. I was certainly was working outside of the gifting God had given me.
I hung in there because I knew God was doing this for a reason. I thought in my little brain that it was most certainly for the benefit of someone else. Certainly it was not for MOI! I even convinced myself that I was just holding the spot for someone else. I was such an admirable servant. Things got bad, really bad and I was miserable. I could not understand what was going on, where was the purpose in all of this. Oh God help me. I did not ask for this. I do not want to be here doing what I am doing. I want to be where I was before, working with the programs, being with the people, talking and helping encourage the directors, not stuck in a little hole somewhere being with numbers all day long. God, please hurry and teach your lesson and let’s get on with the plan. The plans to give me the desires of my heart, the plans to prosper me not harm me.
When I came face to face to what God was doing it was so painful. I was seeing the side of me that God was seeing – the inside of my heart. Boy was it ugly. In my prideful state I had opened my heart and let UGLY come in. And come in it did. I was so self- righteous, so indignant, and so prideful and most of all defiant, it was humiliating. I never would have considered myself a prideful person, a person that was all about themselves and no one else. I was the type of person that I did not like. I think that is what hurt the most.
Never would I have faced up to that particular aspect of my personality had it not been for the journey I went on. I would have never seen the forest for the trees. I thank God for showing me what I was becoming. I thank God for NOT giving me what I wanted but for giving me what I needed. I thank God for speaking into my life through friends, pastors, and leaders. I thank my family for going on this journey with me as unwilling passengers but because they love me they did not jump ship. I pray that I would be so faithful if the situation should ever be reversed.
Only when I “Attended the funeral of my own independence” did I see and experience what God was doing. Only when I got to the point of desperation did I see what God had been trying to show me all along. Do not submit to ME with your actions only – I want your heart as well. Only when I have your heart will I have all of you. The funeral was heart breaking but so necessary. I must say that I am still at the graveside – the shovelfuls of dirt are still being thrown over the casket but with the help of God and the angels He is sending all the time, it will be buried.
em

Coming to a Close

Wow! December 2, 2006 already. Hard to believe that this year is almost over. When I think that it is 2006 that sounds so Sci-Fi. Remember 2001 Space Odyssey. Well we have survived and surpassed that. Anyway I was asked to partake in a panel discussion on Monday night (coming not past). The topic is supposed to be the funniest Christmas ever. There are a couple of ones that come to mind but I would have to say the one that comes to mind was about 23 years ago.
As Christmas would approach I would take great pride in wrapping presents and putting them under the tree as I would get them. As the children grew older and could read the names on the packages they would take delight in seeing how many they had. They would make stacks, organize them into sections according to who the recipient was (not going to say which child would spearhead this one but if you recognize yourself I love ya). Now I am the type of person who will wrap every little thing by itself. Some stacks were quite large but it is the thought that counts RIGHT! Try to explain that to a child while they see their siblings stack growing larger and theirs not. Try to keep the financial aspects out of it as well (Yours stack is smaller because your presents cost more - his is just full of little junkie things. Sure they understand.) Anyway one year I decided that I had missed the boat on teaching thankfulness and gratitude. There had been too much emphasis on how big the stack was in past years so this particular year I decided I would wrap the gifts and not put names on them. I would put numbers on them and I would have the master list. Awesome idea. It was gonna be great.
We loaded up the car and drove to Alexandria to celebrate Christmas with my family. We had everything we needed, the food I was assigned to make, clothes for church, numbered gifts and off we went. Christmas eve came and time to distribute the gifts. (I come from a family of five and there were 18 grandchildren plus the patriarchs of the clan - quite a crowd - 35 plus people).Only when the first gift was handed out did I realize I could not find my master list. At first I panicked. What was I gonna do? Then I really thought I could remember what was in the package - after all I was the one who wrapped them. No problem.
Santa held up a gift with no name - Just a number. I said "Oh that is for Papa Joe." Whew - what a relief I remembered. Imagine Papa Joe's confusion when he got a Strawberry Shortcake doll. Not to be outdone by a 6 year old little girl getting a size large printed house coat with a matching pair of slippers, and a 9 year old boy getting an Old Spice Shaving brush complete with the mug of shaving soap. Confusion was the name of the game now.
The only thing to do was to give everyone a gift to open, then I had to take a look at it and take it from the person that opened it and give it to the person for whom it was intended. I am sure there was a lesson here somewhere but after all these years the one I learned is that the presents do not go under the tree until Christmas Eve.
How about you guys out there? Any funny or memorable stories.
em